With one of the largest vehicle consumer markets in the world, American car manufacturers are all very aware of what a success a ‘cool’ car can have on their bank balances. There are the presumed sure-fire hits, cars that carry with them a legacy of greatness on their shoulders and a recipe for success which, like the upcoming 2022 Ford Mustang, will likely result in instant coolness.
Then there are the sleeper hits, cars that, despite being created to impress potential buyers, were never intended to be elevated to the lofty realms of being branded as the ultimate in cool. This includes the bonkers 2022 RAM 1500 TRX, beating up the competition and taking brutish honors in a crammed high-performance pickup division.
Yet there are the cars that fail due to their own success, their own obnoxious styling, and their own approach to delivering what they think the public wants. Cars that are snapped up as fashion accessories to make them so cool that they become uncool, victims of their own success. With the majority seen everywhere and with others no doubt listed down as must-have items, here are 9 modern American cars that aren’t as cool as people think.
9 Jeep Wrangler
It has retained a ‘nostalgic’ design that hasn’t particularly weathered the passing of time very well. The Wrangler offers up off-road thrills for those buyers who honestly believe that the world reached its peak of evolution somewhere in the mid-nineteen eighties.
Plagued with a whole host of reliability problems that affect the electronics, powertrain, and other areas, the Wrangler also suffers from suspension issues, giving owners more of a period-correct experience than they probably bargained for or even wanted.
8 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody
Winning the prize for most ridiculously long-winded and unnecessary name applied to a retro-born muscle car, the Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody ticks every box for those looking to compensate for shortcomings in their personal lives.
Ignoring modern performance car requisites such as steering feel, dampening, ride quality, or any suggestion of fuel efficiency, the Challenger SRT HRW is uncultured in any way imaginable.
7 Ford Mustang Mach E
Ford may say that this newest offering is a Mustang, but the bloated hippo on wheels-shaped SUV is as far from its Pony car roots as its proud and much-loved 1960s muscle car great grand daddy could ever imagine.
A vehicle designed and engineered to run purely on electrical power is to be expected in this day and age. However, why was it necessary to sully the name of both the Mustang heritage and Mach badging by sticking them both on yet another ugly crossover?
6 Cadillac Escalade
Advertised as offering poise, power, and nimble handling, the Escalade is a garishly styled six-figure luxury SUV that in real-life situations is as nimble as an ocean liner. Big and brash, the Escalade lacks any ultimate sophistication.
Out of place on any road outside of America, the Escalade serves only as a fluffer to those whose egos need to be bolstered by the fact that they have bought something colossal and expensive, and not something chic.
5 SSC Tuatara
It kind of looks like Batman’s weekend car of choice. There is also no getting away from the fact that the monster SSC Tuatara serves up some truly lip-smacking numbers. It has 1750 hp and a top speed of over 300 mph, but all is not as it may seem.
Claiming that the Tuatara averaged 316.11 mph, SSC pinned the title of the world’s fastest production car with their creation. However, that turned out to be a fib, as the video footage was faked as the car hit 282 mph. That’s still an impressive number, but the machine is now tarnished by a lie. Not cool!
4 Tesla Model X
The Tesla Model X answers the ‘what if there was an electric SUV with gull-wing doors’ question that no one ever asked. The Tesla Model X is the pinnacle of pretentiousness, an opulent overpriced statement of wealth to remind the poor that they are indeed poor.
Boasting the type of technology that the average Joe won’t see on their daily runaround for another decade, the Tesla Model X is smugness on wheels. It’s also a car that should be ashamed at the fact that it stole its steering wheel from Knight Rider’s KITT.
3 2022 Corvette
The Corvette is the all-American sports car, a front-engined rear-wheel-drive muscle car hero that has captivated fans for decades, inspired songs, starred in movies, and has become an easy to recognize cultural icon.
That was until they moved the engine. Now a mid-mounted technological marvel, the Corvette has become something else entirely and is now more akin to a European offering than the homegrown American slab of muscle that it once was.
2 2021 Ford Bronco
Yet another retro rival machine that on the surface looks oh-so-cool, but when exposed to daily use fails miserably. No doubt destined to be the accessory of choice for inner-city school runs, the Bronco will be stained by its fashionable success.
More at home scrabbling up a dirt track than navigating a drive-thru restaurant parking lot, the Bronco arrives too late to the chunky rebirthed off-roader party. The main problem is that the Land Rover Defender steals its thunder by doing everything it can do, just better.
1 Chrysler 300
Gangster chic, is that still a thing? Besides the obvious styling shortcomings, the Chrysler 300 is a car that needs a serious overhaul thanks to its aging platform and design credentials that even a Sopranos reboot would find hard to swallow.
Not a patch on its rivals, the Chrysler 300 is left in the weeds when compared to the standard Mercedes E Class, Kia Stinger, not to mention BMW’s 5 series, cars that each give off their brands of cool.
Let us give you a little guide on why American is a good way to go. Then on the flip side, we’ll explain why European cars could be better.
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